To Kill a Soldier is to Shatter a Heart
by Don't go in the Dog Park
Summary: Edward Elric was done in by a war. A fucking war.


It was a war that did Edward Elric in.

A war, a stupid, stupid war that was completely and stupidly unneccesary!  
Alphonse had tried to come- of course he did. The younger Elric had always trailed after the older, why was this any different? Riza had tried to reason with him, had tried to point out that they would keep the duo out of too much trouble and they shouldn't be seperated. Mustang silenced her with a haunted look over his brandy, angry enough to explain his decision;

"_One child going to the war is more than enough, Riza._"

_He was lagging behind to care for civillians, he was a fucking soldier messiah to the neighbors_, was everything anyone was able to get out of Roy, _he was a __**fucking**__ messiah and he didn't deserve that fucking death. _Alphonse would cry if he was able to, would fucking scream and shout and break _everthing_, if he could just fucking _snap out of it._

But he couldn't do anything but watch as the silent group of their crew surrounded their _Taisa_, no one commenting on the small drops of water hitting the table's surface, like fucking rain.

_Fuck_ the Führer . Fuck the military, and fuck his stupid brother for being too nice and getting himself killed, like a goddamn idiot.

He felt his glove tighten around the paper and carefully set it on the table before he crushed it.

_FUCK!_

Before the young Elric could leave, Roy managed to shrug everyone off, and stopped him by grabbing his arm. "Wait," he said desperately, "wait."

The teen that was trapped in a goddamn body of armor turned to face him, the noble _Taisa_ dishevelled and weary, his body still appeared to be broken and pained, with numerous bandages wrapped around him. Alphonse didn't care. He should backhand the bastard for letting his stupid brother even joining the war. Backhand him into the group of his fucking lackeys, who all looked weary at the glint his helmet's eyes let off.

_Good._

"There's more- there's more than what that letter says. Edward, he-"

"Spit it out, Mustang," Al said coldly, his tone shocking the other man into regaining his senses.

"He...He did it for everyone, he said. Everyone at home, I-I can't really remember much, something struck my head a few hours later, got a minor concussion- said he did it for Winry, for Granny. He said he did it for Hughes, yeah... and... He did it for you," Mustang finished, tears once again pricking his eyes. "He did it for me, for everyone, for Amestris, for peace."

Alphonse was very, very quiet for a few minutes, before he gently grabbed his letter again, and looked down at it, before looking up to face Roy. "Thank you, _Taisa,_" he said softly, lightly gripping the man's gloved hand that was still on his armor, and walking out of the bar.

A few days later, he found the strength to open the letter.

_Hey, little brother!_

_I'm guessing if this got to you, well... The world's rid of another knuckle headed brat, huh? ... Alphonse, please don't be angry. Please. Try and live for me, try and get your body back, I have some notes that I think might actually uncover the process more on my desk in our old bunk. Just... don't blame yourself, y'know? It was never your job to protect me, despite what you all thought. _

_My only regret was leaving before we could hug again. Before I could see how you look now, healthy and proud. Don't forget all that we've done and all you'll do, okay? Gracia's apple pie, remember? Console Eliza for me, okay? Console everyone._

_I love you, you know. _

_God, I love all of you more than you'll ever know. I came in a knuckle headed brat and came out a war hero, or something. Not bad, eh?_

_Sorry; probably shouldn't be joking around so much about... you know._

_Stay with Hawkeye, alright? I've already asked her, and she looked so _sad_, Al, you've gotta heal with each other, okay? She's so much like Mom, in her own way. _

_Don't beat up Mustang for this. It was me, it was all me, I made him let me join. He's helped us so much, Alphonse, remember that!_

_Try and get Havoc to stop smoking. I'll bash his head in if I see him smoking a cigarette where I am. _

_And Fury, keep picking up strays. Mustang did, and I'd like to say it turned out pretty profitable._

_Falman, you're a good man. Stay that way; be laid back as usual, but don't bend your rules, be strict with everyone or it'll errupt in chaos. You know how they are._

_Hawkeye... You have no idea how many times I almost called you 'Mom'; it was almost embarrassing._

_Armstrong. You're weird and your sister's fucking rude, but goddamn you're dedicated. I admired that, you know. Thanks for saving my skin back with the Scar dilemma._

_Roy... you dumb, old bastard. Thanks. I've already told you everything, you know that._

_Al, Winry, Granny, you're all crazy and I love you guys._

_So be happy, everyone._

_And get over me, okay?_

_Ed_

The first week Roy was home, he kept hearing Edward's voice.

_Roy spotted the grenade first. It landed nowhere close to them, but damn, those things packed a punch. He also spotted that goddamned blonde head diving towards it. He wrapped something in his arms tightly, shielding it._

_The bomb went off. It wasn't loud, but it stopped everyone's fucking fighting. No one even knew _

_why they were fighting. They didn't hate each other at all._

_"__**MY BABY! Oh, God, where is my baby?!" **__One of the enemy soldiers was panicking, and everyone began to wonder what the fuck he was talking about, before Edward uncurled with a choked noise, and-_

_A child. A little girl, a little girl ran from his graps and into the arms of the soldier that was shouting. "Papa! Papa!" The two embraced, and everyone just... seemed to agree on something._

_Time out._

_When Roy reached his subordinate, the other soldier was already there, helping him lay down. The other's followed their Taisa, Hawkeye right next to him, her gun trained on the man. "Hurt him and you're dead," she let out the threat in a hiss. The man slowly lifted his hands, and threw his gun to the side._

_"He...saved my daughter. I will not hurt him," the man promised. Riza put away her gun, before going with everyone else to the blonde child._

_"Fullmetal, you're a goddamned idiot," Havoc let out, his fists tightened. Edward smirked up at him, before turning to the soldier._

_"Your daughter... is she... okay?" He let out._

_"Yes," the man let out. "My name is Christian Marius, thank you for saving Elisa." The teen's face split into a wide grin, one of his eyes half closed because of his blood running down his face. He looked fine, until his cough came back._

_He faced Roy, gripping his arm almost painfully tight._

"_Tell him I died happy, Roy._"

"_What the fuck are you talking about? We've just gotta get you patched up, we've just-"_

_"If I can fucking accept it, so can you, you dick,_" _He let out a raspy laugh. "Tell him I'm so goddamn proud of him, Roy. Tell him I love him and he was my fucking __**world**__."_

_Everyone on the battlefield quieted down, listening intently._

_"Tell him I loved him more than any-fucking-one and that will never change." His eyes watered, "Tell him I'll miss him, and I better not meet him for a few more fucking decades. Tell him," he said suddenly, forcefully. "Do that for me."_

_Since Mustang couldn't say anything, Riza took his hands and squeezed them gently. "Of course."_

_"Thank you..." he smiled up at her, and her heart shattered. He was like a son to her, he was like a fucking son to her and she was losing her baby-_

_"Mom." _

_She froze, and her chest tightened as she smiled down at him. _  
_Of course," she repeated, smoothing his hair from his face while her mind repeated, __**oh God, oh no, whywhywhywhy**__._

_"Hey, kid," Fury said softly, having knelt beside him._

_"Hey, Fury. Take care of everyone, alright?"_

_"... Gotcha."_

_"Why are you all so fucking worried?" Ed laughed, patting Armstrong's knee. "It's just me. It's just Ed. Save your sparkle tears, big guy. You're all gonna...get... wrinkles..."_

_His breathing was slowing down. The thought struck him like a freight train._

_"I don't want to die," he said, very softly. "I wanted to help Al. You guys," he looked up at Roy with those big, golden eyes, full of fear and regret, and whispered, "please take care of Al like you did me. He's my brother, he's my baby brother. He didn't like peaches when we were kids and he always cried like a baby when there was a thunderstorm. He's just my brother, please... he's not that suit of armor, he's so smart," bloodied lips twitched into a smile. "I'm hoping," he turned to Riza, and his eyes sparkled with so much sadness and happiness it was impossible [but then, she had considered her baby's death to be impossible, too], "I'm hoping," he struggled to say again, "that he becomes the greatest teacher in Amestris. He's always wanted that. Loves kids as much as cats, that kid..." _

_"We can get our medics," Christian tried, but Mustang shook his head. _

_"It's too late," Falman said quietly, "kids' a gonner."_

_"His heart's slowing down," Riza said, close to hysteria. _

_"Young Elric..." Armstrong said sadly, "you have our word that young Alphonse will be cared for."_

_"Thank you..." Edward let his head fall down onto Mustang's lap, smiling up at his Taisa. "Taisa," he breathed, "I don't want to die, but... well, I've never really gotten anything I wanted. I'll be watching for when you become the Führer, asshole."_

_No more, everyone decided. Enough._

_Guns clattered to their sides, people swarmed, looking for the injured amongst all of the dead._

_It was incredible, but all the group could watch was his eyes drifting closed, and his breathing emptied out into the night's freezing air._

Roy awoke, feeling colder than he had ever been in his life.


End file.
